Friendship Ponderings

We're just back from a lovely holiday in Lanzarote which my other half has already blogged about here so I won't mention the holiday but I've been thinking and pondering about what I read on holiday. I've been wading and I mean wading through John Ortberg's 'Everybody's normal till you get to know them.' I've been reading it for ages and am finding it hard going, never having read anything by him before I can't decide if it's me or the style of the book or what but it has got easier to read and it has challenged me in the area of friendships.

He talks a lot about community and what it means to be in community, how to be in community effectively, how to have meaningful relationships, how to be close to people without getting hurt and that's where it has struck a chord with me. You see I have lots of friends (382 on facebook) lots of people who I can meet up with, have a coffee with, chat about this and that with but Ortberg challenges us to have around us a couple of people who know us very well with whom we are able to have unveiled faces, to be accountable, to be honest and to share the sticky stuff of life. Don't get me wrong I have Mr B and he is fab but over the past few months (maybe even past couple of years) I have felt a sense of wanting to have a friend with whom I can be that close and honest to share the hard stuff and find a listener still listening. At uni I had a couple of friends like that but ended up getting hurt and now I find there's no one around me who I see regularly with whom I can build that kind of relationship and maybe deep down I'm afraid of getting hurt again so spend more time by myself and in chatty chatty friendships as opposed to deep friendships. It's something I need to think and pray about: do I need that kind of relationship/friendship, is my thinking about it a sign that it is something that is missing from my life, how do I go about building that kind of relationship either with someone I'm already friends with or somebody new, do I need to stop being so busy and using that as a mask to finding and building meaningful friendships?

Hmm deep thoughts for a Friday evening, can't help but think I'm probably not the only person in the world thinking these things and that gives me hope.